Fantasy

I've wondered about this too, since I recently started having an affair with my own husband and I'm shocked at how good at it we are. 😳 It has caused me to wonder if there is danger in fantasizing about infidelity, threesomes, etc. In our case, I think our affair is probably fine because we are pretending that we are ourselves from 3 years ago, when we were both married to our exes. In real life, during that time, he was the hot primary chorister, married to a woman who decided to leave the church and let him take their 6 kids to church on his own. They rarely had sex. Don't know how they had 6 kids. In real life, I was married to a former self-righteous and overbearing bishop who I was not sexually attracted to. He was boring and when it came to sex, he was very needy and always talked about it, instead of just coming after me. And he won't take care of himself physically and was very overweight, while I am quite fit. Ugh. So, in this fantasy, my current husband and I are in the same ward, married and working in the primary on the primary music program. We have to have meetings in order to plan the program. We start texting each other initially about that and end up sharing our sad marriage stories over time. We really start connecting. I'm going to drag this fantasy way out so as to build sexual tension and really connect retroactively. As we text and try this fantasy out, he's the one that is pushing it too fast, sending sexual innuendoes and being suggestive way too soon and I am resisting, telling him that this is really inappropriate and that we need to stick to talking about primary (LOL!). He took the cue and is dialing back to a friendship, but it's obvious that he's into me. I'm going to subtly seduce him in my own way (over text) and really make him want me. It might take months to get to the level of sexual tension that I want to achieve. By the time Brother X meets up with Sister Dirty Little LDS Girl, the sexual tension is going to be delicious. It helps that in real life, I am a writer and my husband is a professional actor. But again, I do wonder if it's okay to pretend to cheat...and with the primary chorister, at that, lol! Probably do it anyway. ;) I suppose I should copy and paste this fantasy into my stories. ;) How am I doing so far?

Obviously, this sort of thing is controversial since many fantasies, if acted out, violate church standards and plenty of church counsel has been against allowing ourselves to actively think about such things. That said, I think there's benefit in exploring fantasies of all kinds AND sharing those with spouses, even when the fantasies center around things we wouldn't choose to do, either because of covenants or a sense that it wouldn't be as enjoyable in real life as it is in our imagination.

I think so because our fantasies simply reveal our authentic erotic natures. We can't exactly choose what turns us on the way we can choose what we'll allow ourselves to actually do. Our turn-on's, including the hardest to talk about, are part of who we are. We need not be ashamed of it but isolation helps to ensure we feel that shame anyway. Being able to disclose these authentic thoughts and feelings to an understanding spouse can be a powerful bonding and healing experience.